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-
- SNAFU, Version 2.0
- November, 1989
- Freeware by Ken Dowst
-
-
-
- WHAT IT DOES:
-
- SNAFU makes an MSDOS computer temporarily respond in a bizarre manner to
- any command entered. The computer will seem to act wildly inappropriately
- and/or will give odd error messages.
-
- No damage of any kind is done to the computer or its files.
-
- When a directory listing is requested, SNAFU will print a forgery listing
- both real and phony files. Listed also will be the actual volume name and a
- mangled version of the actual path. As a decorative touch, the listing will be
- tastefully sprinkled with smiley-faces and other garbage characters. (Don't
- neglect to try out, too, the "cd" command.)
-
- (Press <PgDn> to continue. . . . )
-
- After acting out-of-line for five or six commands (not counting DIR, which
- *always* prints a directory listing; and not counting the press of <Enter>
- alone, which always reprints the prompt), the computer will resume normal
- operation. Sign: look for "Returning to DOS prompt. . . ." followed by a real
- directory listing. The next DOS prompt after that will be a real one. If you
- choose, SNAFU will leave behind a "readme" file explaining what had happened.
-
-
- STARTING SNAFU:
-
- SNAFU *does not* clear the screen when it begins. It erases only the
- command line from which you invoked it. Any text already on the screen will
- remain there. (Clever, eh?) The best way to run SNAFU on a friend's computer
- is to put a floppy containing SNAFU.EXE into an unused drive (let's say A:).
- DON'T change the current drive. Enter "A:SNAFU" (without the quotes), then
- remove the floppy. That way you will leave no trace of your shenanigans.
-
- If the disk in the default drive is write-protected, or if the computer is
- running a memory-resident anti-virus program that prevents disk writes, then
- SNAFU will not run. If the anti-virus program prevents only writes to hard
- drives and allows writes to floppies, then you can run SNAFU by changing the
- default drive to A:
-
-
- ANSWERING THE INITIAL PROMPTS:
-
- (1) When SNAFU begins, it will print what it thinks is the DOS prompt and
- ask for your approval. You can then accept the prompt or change it. If the
- original prompt uses sophisticated ANSI control-code sequences, you may not
- be able to duplicate it exactly. Fortunately, most computers are set to
- produce simpler prompts that SNAFU can forge without trouble.
-
- (2) Next SNAFU will ask if you wish to leave behind an explanatory text
- file. I recommend pressing <Y> (for "Yes") to create the file, but the choice
- is yours. The text file is given a name both attention-getting and unlikely
- already to exist: -README-.(!). In the event a file by that name already
- exists, the message is added to the end of it. The text will reassure the user
- that no harm was done to the computer or its files and advises the him to make
- backup copies of his files regularly--for computers DO run amok on their own
- from time to time. (Backed up your own hard disk lately?)
-
- (3) Then SNAFU will ask about the type of monitor in use. Press <M> if
- monochrome or <C> if color (even if the color monitor is displaying black-on-
- white or another monochrome-like combination of colors). Some of the
- computer's behavior can be *very* colorful under SNAFU.
-
- (4) Many systems with color monitors use memory-resident programs to set
- the default screen colors. Version 2.0 of SNAFU allows you to reproduce these
- default colors; however, you must select the appropriate colors manually. If
- you indicate a color monitor, SNAFU will then prompt you three times to select
- the appropriate color of letters, of background, and of border, respectively.
- (If you do not see a border around the edges of the screen, then the border is
- the same color as the background.) In each case, when prompted enter the
- color's *number*, not its name. SANFU uses the standard color-numbering system
- of BASIC, which is:
-
- 0 = black 4 = red 8 = grey 12 = light red (pink)
- 1 = blue 5 = magenta 9 = light blue 13 = light magenta
- 2 = green 6 = brown 10 = light green 14 = yellow
- 3 = cyan 7 = white 11 = light cyan 15 = bright white
-
- If, instead of entering a number, you just press <Enter>, SNAFU will
- display a chart of the colors and their numbers and then prompt you again to
- enter the number. If you make a mistake in entering the color numbers, don't
- worry: you'll soon be able to abort the program and start again.
-
- If you indicated a monochrome monitor in step (3), SNAFU will skip the
- color prompts.
-
- (5) Finally, SNAFU will give you 6 seconds to abort the program by
- pressing <Esc>. Do so if you've made a mistake in specifying the DOS prompt or
- the screen colors. If <Esc> is not pressed, SNAFU will then begin imitating
- the operating system. Once it does so, you cannot break out of the program
- except by running through it to its end or by turning off the computer's power:
- for maximum fun, SNAFU disables the Ctrl key, preventing aborting with <Ctrl-
- Break> and <Ctrl-Alt-Del>.
-
-
- HOW THE PRGRAM WORKS:
-
- SNAFU is completely harmless. It is not memory-resident. While the user
- *thinks* he is seeing the DOS prompt, he is (for a while, at least) seeing a
- forgery printed by SNAFU. For added realism, the program accesses the disk
- from time to time.
-
- What actually happens during disk accesses is this: a file with an
- improbable name is created and then erased. At the very beginning of the
- program two temporary files are also created, used by the program, and then
- erased. These files enable SNAFU to find the DOS prompt and some real
- filenames to put in the phony directory listings. No damage of any kind is
- done to any of the user's files or to any other part of the computer. No
- Trojan, virus, worm, or other nasty critter is left behind--only (optionally) a
- note explaining what happened.
-
-
- ETYMOLOGY:
-
- The word "SNAFU" is an acronym popular, especially among soldiers, during
- World War II. It stands for "Situation Normal: All F***ed Up" ("Fouled"
- became the standard euphemism for the key term.) The word's cousin is of
- course "FUBAR," the last 60% of which stands for "Beyond All Recognition." For
- some reason, both terms are popular among computer programmers and systems
- analysts today. Don't ask me why.
-
-
- DISTRIBUTION AND FEEDBACK:
-
- SNAFU is free. You may distribute copies at will, so long as you do not
- charge for the program without my permission. (A modest charge for media,
- connect time, postage, handling, and so forth is not prohibited.) If you like
- SNAFU--or even if you don't--I ask only three things (and one of them requires
- *no* effort):
-
- (1) Please pass around copies to friends and upload copies
- to some bulletin boards. (IMPORTANT: Please be sure
- SNAF-DOC.COM accompanies SNAFU.EXE)
-
- (2) Please do not make any changes to the program or its
- documentation.
-
- (3) Drop me a note if you conveniently can. You can reach me
- on CompuServe--in the forums IBMNEW and IBMPRO, or via
- Easyplex--at 71257,252. You can reach me on PARTICIPATE
- on CompuServe at "KEN DOWST". Or if you'd prefer, try a
- Hartford-area BBS (perhaps Windsor Manor: 203-688-4973).
-
-
- If you yourself are a programmer, please consider contributing some of your
- work to the public domain.
-
-
- -- = < * > = --
-
- SNAFU is written and compiled with Microsoft QuickBASIC 4.5. It runs on IBM-
- PC-compatible computers with color or monochrome displays.
-
- Version 1.2 improved the DOS-prompt-finding routine of 1.1; thanks to Ty
- Halderman for help with this. Version 1.3 improved the last two error-messages
- and replaced the .DOC text file with SNAF-DOC.COM. Version 2.0 improves the
- error-messages further and adds color handling. Coincidentally (honest!), the
- release date is the 26th anniversary of the beginning of one of the larger
- SNAFU's of American history, one a good deal less amusing than the present
- program.
-
- Ken Dowst
- Hartford, Connecticut
- November 22, 1989
-
-
- -- = < * > = --
-
- Program and text are copyright (C) 1989 by Ken Dowst.
-
- (Press <Esc> to quit. . . .)
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